S A T I R E Chinese state media has confirmed they have successfully landed a beautiful female rover named Zhurong on the surface of Mars. This is causing some to raise security concerns that she may enter into a relationship with NASA’s Perseverence rover and steal American secrets. “Perseverance is just like any other hot-blooded American rover,” […]
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S A T I R E “I’m perfectly healthy and ready to take on even more challenges,” President Biden told reporters. He used a new communication method this time, though, speaking through [new White House press secretary] a medium named Madame Ezmeralda using a technique called a “séance.” “This is just an extra precaution with […]
S A T I R E According to anonymous sources, the CIA has replaced enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding with something even more torturous and effective: 12-hour academic lectures on intersectional feminism. “Waterboarding has been shown to be very effective,” said the anonymous source. “But that’s been replaced now. Now we just pop in a […]
S A T I R E In a shocking turn of events, Melinda Gates has changed her mind about divorcing Bill Gates only minutes after receiving the COVID vaccine. “I have changed my mind and do not want a divorce from this amazing and handsome man,” said Melinda with a glazed look in her eye. “Bill is […]
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S A T I R E In an effort to gain 2 more Democrat senators, The Democrat party is calling for statehood to be granted to Little Saint James in the Caribbean — also known as Epstein’s Island. “The good people of Epstein’s Island have been denied representation in Congress for far too long,” said Nancy Pelosi to […]
S A T I R E After hours of sequestered deliberation, the jury in the Derek Chauvin trial has reached a decision. Before that, however, they will be each reading their last wills to ensure their affairs are in order before giving the verdict. “Yeah, we reached a verdict pretty quickly, but most of our […]
FUNNIES Town Hall
FUNNIES Townhall
