If they had real jobs, would the paid looters give a damn?
FUNNIES Townhall
How a sophisticated San Francisco liberal advances ‘Progressive’ concerns
FUNNIES
Biden wears no clothes; Media praise his style
FUNNIES KISSIMMEE, FL — Joe Biden was taken out of the cooler in his campaign bus to give a speech at a campaign stop today, but oops! He forgot to put on clothes. No worries for the Biden campaign, though. The media quickly praised his “regal” and “elegant” outfit, calling it “majestic” and “presidential.” “Look […]
Trump flushes the ‘peace process’
FUNNIES Townhall
What is God’s problem? California leaders reduced penalties for pedophiles, expected blessings
FUNNIES SACRAMENTO, CA—California is currently on fire, having also been plagued by darkness, earthquakes, and hippies. State leaders are claiming they have “no idea” why God keeps lighting them on fire, though they just voted to reduce penalties for pedophiles in the name of equality for the LGBTQ+ community. “It’s unclear here what exactly we’re being […]
Republicans rewarded for their civility
FUNNIES Townhall
Flashback: Before covid, it dawned on Democrats that Americans might interfere with the election
FUNNIES WASHINGTON, D.C., Jan. 23, 2020 —In his opening statement at Trump’s impeachment trial, Rep. Adam Schiff reminded the Senate of their solemn duty and the gravity of just what it is they will be discussing at the trial. Schiff warned that if Trump is not impeached, the American people may have a chance to […]
Disney slightly edits Mulan for foreign audiences: Stay-at-home heroine wows husband
FUNNIES BURBANK, CA—Disney has announced that the live-action movie Mulan will be undergoing some changes before its international release. This decision comes as a part of the company’s initiative to make movies that are more inclusive for foreign markets. “We were excited to tell this story of a brave, young, empowered woman, who defies cultural norms and […]
Turns out we’re not really all in this together
FUNNIES Townhall
Voila, the solution! Mail-in debates
FUNNIES Democrats have agreed to allow Biden to debate Trump, but they are proposing an exciting, new mail-in format where both candidates will mail their responses back and forth to each other. “Mail-in debating is safe and secure, and it will give our candidate ample time to formulate a response, with some assistance, over several days,” […]