Gentleman, start your engine
FUNNIES Townhall
So honored to be chosen solely on the basis of my race and gender
FUNNIES Townhall
Biden will debate, but Covid gear may conceal his identity
FUNNIES U.S. — The Trump campaign has been making claims that rival candidate Joe Biden isn’t fit to debate, has been “hiding in his basement,” and may try to skip the debates so as not to embarrass himself. The Biden campaign has denied these charges and said that Biden is looking forward to the debates […]
‘Follow the money’ (advice to journalists in an earlier era)
Townhall
‘We?’ BLM protesters have a ‘white bread’ moment, pledge to hire blacks
FUNNIES CHARLESTON, SC—A Black Lives Matter protest in South Carolina started to get out of hand, with people screaming at police officers stationed nearby. It threatened to get violent until the protestors paused after noticing they were all white. “We will not let your system oppress us!” shouted one protestor, to which a black officer […]
Standing tall . . .
Townhall
Americans can’t be too cautious: Dr. Fauci advises use of bubble wrap
FUNNIES WASHINGTON, D.C.—At a press conference Wednesday, Dr. Fauci suggested that Americans cover their entire bodies in bubble wrap to protect against coronavirus. “Studies have shown that this is very effective at stopping the virus, germs, and the oxygen that carries these things,” Fauci said. “You will no longer have to worry about death by […]
Laughter is the best medicine: July 29, 2020 roundup
FUNNIES Townhall
Trump may not accept the election results, says cult that did not accept election results
FUNNIES Leftists are warning that President Donald Trump might not accept the results of the 2020 election. … “It would absolutely destroy our democracy if Trump were to decide he won’t accept the results of the election,” said one woman in Seattle wearing a “Hillary Is My President” T-shirt. “We can’t continue to exist as a […]
Heartache for progressive parents: Their kids are so damned white
FUNNIES PORTLAND, OR—John and Julie Newman are dedicated progressives, active in every cause and contributing regularly to Black Lives Matter. Despite this, their children, Cayden and Evergreen, have turned out wrong. “They’re just so white,” explained Julie, not hiding her disappointment. “I don’t know what we did wrong.” BabylonBee