Heartache for progressive parents: Their kids are so damned white

Heartache for progressive parents: Their kids are so damned white

FUNNIES PORTLAND, OR—John and Julie Newman are dedicated progressives, active in every cause and contributing regularly to Black Lives Matter. Despite this, their children, Cayden and Evergreen, have turned out wrong. “They’re just so white,” explained Julie, not hiding her disappointment. “I don’t know what we did wrong.” BabylonBee

Terror on Fifth Ave.; Suspect at large

Terror on Fifth Ave.; Suspect at large

NEW YORK, NY—The NYPD announced it is investigating the hate crime of a man who graffitied over the city’s sanctioned graffiti, changing the previous Black Lives Matter slogan to read “ORANGE” Lives Matter. Babylon Bee