Famed cat’s luck runs out on 9th life
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Now I lay me down to sleep . . .
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DeSantis terror tactics traumatize impressionable Florida youth
S A T I R E Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has just signed into law a bill that legalizes stuffing kids who wear masks into lockers, giving them wedgies, and putting them into trash cans upside-down. … “In other states, you can get detention or even criminal charges for this kind of bullying,” said DeSantis. […]
ATMs in Canada to require correct responses to political questions
S A T I R E Under orders from the Supreme Chancellor of the People’s Republic of Canada Justin Trudeau, all bank ATMs across the provinces will now require anyone attempting to withdraw money from their accounts to take a small quiz on their political beliefs. … Questions asked by the ATM will include: How […]
Lawless Marxists not immune to the law of karma
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Pairs competition at Winter Olympics angers literally dozens
S A T I R E Pairs Figure Skating, a staple of the Winter Olympics ever since its inception, is angering dozens of people around the world with its bigoted implication that there are only two genders. “I can’t believe they’re forcing this sort of backward garbage on China, the most progressive country on earth!” said […]
Pro choice? Teachers union hastens to clarify which individual choices email supported
S A T I R E AFT President Randi Weingarten spoke out today to clarify that the teachers union official “pro-choice” stance only applies to killing babies, not to parents being able to decide where their children attend school. The controversy stemmed from a poorly-worded email intended to bolster support for abortion rights among the union’s Democrat base. […]
Team Biden evacuates Hunter’s cash from Ukraine in daring, strategic op
S A T I R E As Russian troops assemble at Ukraine’s border ahead of a possible land invasion, President Biden has taken swift action by deploying an elite seal team to evacuate his son Hunter’s money. “At my direction, military operatives infiltrated a bank to evacuate my son’s stash of sweet, sweet Burisma cash before Russia […]
Whew, what a year! Time for a nap
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Supremes rule: Except clueless healthcare workers, Americans know best about health
S A T I R E In a landmark ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court has determined that Biden’s vaccine mandate for private businesses is unconstitutional. However, in a split decision, they also determined that healthcare workers are the only ones who should not be allowed to make decisions about their own health. “Healthcare workers have […]