Another day, another Fauci distraction
S A T I R E Townhall
Reinstatement shocker: Jan. 6 commission voted down; Elites now agree Trump won hands down
S A T I R E Congress has voted down a proposed commission to look into the events of January 6th after everyone realized that Trump actually won the election fair and square in 2020. “Wow, I guess I never really saw it that way!” said Senator Chuck Schumer . . . . “The election […]
Amazon’s 007 will show no mercy to evil small business owners
S A T I R E Amazon has purchased MGM Studios and the famous Bond franchise for $8.45 billion, according to reports. Current Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos expressed his excitement over the purchase. “We are looking forward to bringing the story of British superspy James Bond into new and exciting directions!” said Bezos. “I can’t give […]
Stiffed American working stiffs find new lease on life at Russia’s Nord Stream 2 Pipeline
S A T I R E Placing a Russian Ushanka fur hat on his balding head, 51-year old former Keystone XL Pipeline worker Allen Brokeson excitedly danced a little Russian jig he had been practicing. He was preparing for a weeks-long voyage via shipping container to the Baltic Sea, rail car to Moscow, then yak-drawn […]
Week in review: A tale best told by cartoonists
FUNNIES Townhall 2, 3
NASA techs fear China’s female Mars rover is distracting ‘hot-blooded’ Perseverance
S A T I R E Chinese state media has confirmed they have successfully landed a beautiful female rover named Zhurong on the surface of Mars. This is causing some to raise security concerns that she may enter into a relationship with NASA’s Perseverence rover and steal American secrets. “Perseverance is just like any other hot-blooded American rover,” […]
Bad Presidents Society: Hope and change for Jimmy Carter
FUNNIES Townhall
New White House press secretary conducts seance, confirms Biden is alive and kicking
S A T I R E “I’m perfectly healthy and ready to take on even more challenges,” President Biden told reporters. He used a new communication method this time, though, speaking through [new White House press secretary] a medium named Madame Ezmeralda using a technique called a “séance.” “This is just an extra precaution with […]
Waterboarding out; CIA torture team imposes 12-hour lectures on intersectional feminism and heteronormative patriarchy
S A T I R E According to anonymous sources, the CIA has replaced enhanced interrogation techniques such as waterboarding with something even more torturous and effective: 12-hour academic lectures on intersectional feminism. “Waterboarding has been shown to be very effective,” said the anonymous source. “But that’s been replaced now. Now we just pop in a […]
Melinda Gates has a change of heart, and DNA, after getting miracle vaccine
S A T I R E In a shocking turn of events, Melinda Gates has changed her mind about divorcing Bill Gates only minutes after receiving the COVID vaccine. “I have changed my mind and do not want a divorce from this amazing and handsome man,” said Melinda with a glazed look in her eye. “Bill is […]