SATIRE WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a historic compromise, the Senate and U.S. House of Representatives have finally settled on a stimulus package for Americans struggling and out of work. In addition to bailouts, money for pet projects, and payouts to unions, Congress has authorized a very special $5 off coupon to Applebee’s. “We are proud to have come […]
SATIRE In a historic press conference, Trump confirmed to the world that extraterrestrials exist and that they are in contact with the U.S. Government. Unfortunately, they won’t reveal themselves until humanity has evolved to the point where they will re-elect Trump as President of the United States. “I know the aliens, talked with the aliens, […]
SATIRE Scientists and conspiracy theorists are baffled after a strange monolith-shaped stack of missing Trump votes was discovered without explanation in the middle of the Utah desert. “RIGGED ELECTION!” tweeted Donald Trump after seeing the news on his Twitter feed. “They found my missing votes! There must be 10 million in that stack alone!” Scientists […]
SATIRE In an honest and heartfelt talk with reporters, Kamala Harris discussed some of the tough decisions they now have to face in light of Biden’s ankle injury. Harris is assuring the public these decisions will be handled with the utmost sensitivity and compassion. “I can tell you this,” said Harris. “Joe will be kept comfortable. […]
SATIRE WASHINGTON, D.C.—Biden’s transition team has announced they will be appointing an all-female communications team. According to sources, the team will not tell the nation what’s wrong, since the nation should already know. “It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Nothing’s wrong, OK!?” said Jen Psaki in her first press conference as a part of Biden’s team. … Insiders […]